Jennifer's Books

I downloaded this freebie due to the massive number of high ratings it has received at Goodreads*. (And YAY free zombie book!)

Talk about a major let down.

I did not enjoy this book at all, and was, in fact, close to DNF'ing it (something I only very, very, very rarely do), at less than 20% in. I stuck with it in the hopes that it would get better.

It didn't.

The humor was juvenile (fart/poop jokes galore), OTT, mean-spirited at times (fat jokes...so many fat jokes) and downright homophobic** and sexist at others.

And just simply not funny. At. All.

Examples:

"My neighbor next door was a decent person in a bull-dykeish sort of way."

Also, the character's name was Jo, but the main character, who was also narrating had a irksome way of writing her name as Jo(e?), as if he couldn't quite believe she wasn't actually a man.

Not a good way to get me in your main character's corner.

Fat jokes:

"My guess was the promise of food. These two didn't ever look like they passed up a chance at something to eat." (about two female zombies.)

"I didn't think anybody but the Man of Steel himself was going to be able to stop that bulk once it got into motion."..."The odds were good that Justin and I were about to become human pancakes, sandwiched under the enormous bulk of Tommy."

About Tommy...he's a kid who the book terms as 'a little slow', who also hears the voice of Ryan Seacrest (I kid you not) turning Tommy into a sort of prophet type character as Seacrest seems to know what's going to happen at any given moment. Oh...and he's fat. And he likes to eat. A lot. And he apparently can't eat anything without smearing it all over his face. And he's really fat. I'm not sure the book stressed enough just how fat and slovenly Tommy was. UGGGHHHHH *rolls eyes*

Mysogyny:

"What the hell was wrong with me? I was having feelings, I had sobbed and now I was swooning, a couple more days of this crap and I was going to need some Tampax."

Real winner, isn't he? Our narrator, ladies and gentlemen.

And on that note, while exactly none of the characters had any depth, the female characters were flat out written horrendously. Every single one of them was shrewish, irritating, all but completely helpless, didn't appear to have a brain in their heads, and were constantly angry and yelling.

The book took weird side tangents, e.g. a sidestory about the main character almost cheating on his wife, and a completely unecessary side story about a rapist/serial killer who had a female zombie chained in his basement to...well, I think you can suss out why.

It was disjointed, clunky, unfunny, and...outside of Tommy and the two canine characters, I was rooting for the zombies.

*When trying to decide to read a book or not, I usually read several (non-spoilery reviews) from each rating level. Apparently I didn't read the 'right' bad reviews. :

**The homophobia was apparently worse in a earlier version of the book. While part way through the book, I stopped reading to come back on Goodreads to see if others disliked it as much as I did, and I came across a couple of reviews that commented on something the main character's wife (who also had a turn at narrating), said during a scene in which she and her daughter were in a convenience store on a cigarette run. The line was something to the effect of (the zombie's head being smashed) was as 'repellent as watching two guys kiss.' I had just read that scene prior, and did not recall anything that sounded like that, so I reread the scene again, and used my kindle's search to try to find it, and I could not. So, I'm assuming the book was revised at some point and that little comment was removed?